FABS

At El Buen Pastor...

2006-09-07T19:24:00.000-07:00

Thanks Joel...for this invitation to El Buen Pastor.

I was thinking about all this looking through the pictures that were sent to me.

The girls were from 12 years old to 21. all the girls are in school, except for one, one of them goes to the University. When we were on our way I was thinking in the car I really dont know what I will talk about with these girls, and I thought honestly I dont really think these girls care if I study Law or if I work, and etc...

But, as I sat down with those girls in that beautiful sunny day, and felt the grass in my hands, somehow all that just made me feel like home. and for a few minutes thought of myself as being in their side. not as the girl that was visiting, but as the girl that lives there.
And....honestly those girls are so full of expectations, big expectations, they are full of dreams, of goals, of passions (like Joel mentioned to them), and I could see in all of them that wanting to get better, to be better.
They all have accepted their lives just the way it is. one of hte girls that comes to Tegus to study, she is the oldest she wakes up at 4am, takes a bus and comes to class every day, then she goes back, and when she goes back she has to go study, help cook, help clean the house...and I was there listening to this girl and just feeling so proud of her, honestly I felt like she was doing so much sacrifices that I dont have to go through. and still she had a smile in her face. and the most important thing she was proud of herself.

It was a great day....
I can see all those girls becoming proffesionals, I convinced about two girls to become Lawyers...:)), well it was one hundred percent their idea!..haha but I do see all of them... becoming women that will work for a good cause, and one of the things they all told me was how blessed they felt some coming from a Horrible place like Casitas Kennedy to a place that feels like Home.

And...like my dad always says....we as humans our biggest dream is a place we can call home.

And these girls a lot of them feel like Home there...at Good Shepherd.

It was a beautiful day, a day I will never forget even if it was a one hour conversation with those girls, Thank you Joel for the invitation.

Those girls motivated me to become better each day...:))

At an Airport Gate...

2006-08-19T10:22:00.000-07:00

Today...I was heading to the airport...my little sister is leaving two days before I do. I was sitting in the back, looking around me through a window, cars movings fast, people walking fast, traffic everywhere, some people smiling some with no expression at all, when the car stopped in the traffic light some with their faces full of stress and problems that show through their faces. When we were getting closer to the airport I started looking up at the sky thinking that sun thats bright is the sun that many people on this side of the world are looking at. we are so far away yet covered by the same sky, the same sun brightening our faces, and the same moon building our shadows.
I got out of the car, and now for security reasons the only one who could go in the airport was my little sister and my dad. I said bye to my sister right there in the door, so I stood there waiting for my dad about one hour...while I was there a lot of people came and go, some were surprised that they couldnt go in to say goodbye to their relatives and they had to do it right there in that door...but, right there in that big gate, I saw tears, laughters, hope, Love. There was this family it was a huge family and they were saying bye to their son it seemed to be, and the boy was out of control cyring, and it seemed to be his grandfather who gave him the last hug and said something to his ear while they were hugging the boy suddenly starts laughing and smiling wipes away his tears and enters the gate with all his luggage, And I thought its so hard sometimes to say goodbye, to let go of that place and things you are always hanging to, and honestly you will always hang on to them.
The world keeps turning, the sun goes down and one more day, the moon brightens our night and then one more night, humans keep changing the course of this life, airports used to be secure now they are not, and so it will keep changing, the world will keep turning, we might lose something we used to have, we might lose someone we used to have, we might have to say goodbye to those people who make our lives complete.
But, standing there looking at all those true emotions, you know it really doesnt matter who is around you when you're there in that gate about to say goodbye, all the family was crying tough men, and women, little kids, grandma's and grandpa's.
Everything will change in life...
one thing we can make eternal is love.
Our Eternal Love...the love we cant really explain of that INFINITE being...the one that gave us life, and shows us everyday a glance of heaven.... even at an airport gate. the one that shows us everyday that miracles do exist. the one that shows us love in the simplest and purest form.

Tomorrow its my turn to enter that gate..and leave my dad...
but, I have that HOPE, that only HE the all knowing, the all powerful, the one who brought my dad and me together at the first place can give.

:)

A BLESSING...

2006-08-13T09:33:00.000-07:00

Wow! I just realized right now thats its been long without me writing here in my blog.
Today I woke up, after I was dreaming that I was in my room sleeping and when I woke up I was sad, and then I looked around and still very sleepy I saw that it was a room totally different as mine and then I looked around and in the bed next to me was my dad.
I have to tell you that I felt so happy, I felt so blessed in that exact moment.
It had been one year and a half witout seeing my dad.
I missed the small details that make our dad-daughter relationship so great like having breakfast together, watching movies together, reading the newspaper in the morning and then discussing with my dad everything it said, drinking coffee at 5pm reading a book sitting next to him. being a spoil girl (belive it or not haha) all those things that I missed so much, and for a few days I get to do again.
I'm in a beautiful country called Guatemala, its in Central America, its a beautiful country very developed... I lived here about 11 years ago, my little sister was born here, and I just have beautiful memories in this country, now my dad is moving here for a couple of months and hopefully I will get to come more often to see him.

Every day that I have spent here with my dad every moment I have thanked GOD for giving me such a gift. I cant really explain how blessed I feel to spend time with a person that has set such a great example for me.

we were having dinner last night with my dad and my little sister, and my dad said ''I had asked God for this moment for a long time'' and my little sister said that she did too, and then I said so did I...and ...there we were with one of the many prayers answered. :)

The Motorcycle Adventure

2006-06-18T17:47:00.000-07:00

ok so I will start with the FUNNY part of the story...for those of you who know how Randy drives a car...just imagine a motorcycle!!!..NO NO!!!!!!!!, HONESTLY I was screaming so loud some neighbors came out..HAHA:)
...Katrina patiently teaching me how to drive it, not knowing that my next step was to almost run over her sweet mom, and our sweet friend Katie...
ok so ...before we started driving , and the fun part came to play, and before I keep writing...MELISSA AND KATIE I LOVE YOU VERY MUCH I didnt want to hurt neither of you...I just really lost control!...ooppsss...by the way I was just heading to the wall where MELISSA AND KATIE were standing...
fast fast fast...I always have so much fun with you Katrina!:)

I had lots of fun Katrina...you are an excellent motorcycle driver...

YEAY!!...I FINALLY DID IT!!

Sunday Bible Class sponsored by FROOT LOOPS...

2006-06-18T14:17:00.000-07:00

Melissa and Jen you definitely are full of ideas!:)
The kids deinitely enjoyed today's activities, working with the froot loops...
so ...today's lesson was about Noah's Ark and the real meaning of the rainbow, all these kids participate so much during the lesson, they always have an answer to my questions about the stories...and when it comes to crafts they love it!.
SO....we gave them a bag with froot loops and a string to make a necklace, It was funny because many of them were just eating their froot loops...but, everyone did have a beautiful colorfull froot loops necklace,...so...WE were coming back in the car and Jen Arnold told us that her group of kids were doing their necklaces when this mom showed up with her kid and she wanted some froot loops for her kid because he had nothing to eat, but there were no more bags, and Jen asked all the kids who wanted to give her some...and all the kids took froot loops from their bags to give this lady and her kid, she was holding her kid and her hands were full of froot loops.
This just shows how it is to serve God...in small things....you know sometimes we dont have to just pretend that we cant really help, because we can. Excuses are not worth a thing, its in simple things that we can help, I dont know if you have noticed but sometimes just playing with a kid makes their day, and they treasure that.
These kids, during their sunday Bible lessons, teach me so much of how it really is to serve.
When we're singing they do it as loud as they can, when we are doing the crafts they help each other, when it comes to sharing they take some from their own bags and give to the kid next to them, and when it comes to show love they're a great example of it.

WE DEFINITELY OWE A GREAT DEAL OF TODAY TO FROOT LOOPS...TOUCAN SAM...AND OK IT WASNT REALLY SPONSORED BY FROOT LOOPS BUT, TO THE SPONSORS YOU KNOW WHO YOU ARE THANK YOU!!:))

2006-06-17T22:49:00.000-07:00

I know I know...it has been long since I dont blog a thing, but actually so many things do happen in my life that I should be blogging, but, ok, I feel like it right now..so here it goes...
Last week it was my little sisters graduation (Marcela)some of you know her, but for those of you who dont, she is the greatest little girl, and sometimes I have this pressure of setting the right example for her, wish so bad everything just works out for her the way it should. I miss her a lot and thats for sure because somehow we are so close but so far away from each other, sometimes I have a hard time understanding how things work out. but, inspite of all that it I was so happy to see her get her diploma, and just moving to that new step and that is high school,
I do ask God to bless my little sister, and I know that just like in my life, HE has great blessings for Marcela along her way.
(Katrina...you being there with me meant a lot..thanku:)))

......................

Tonight I was packing froot loops with Melissa and Jen Arnold, for the activities tomorrow at the sunday Bible school for the kids in Mololoa. they will make necklaces out of froot loops, so as always Melissa and Jen inspite of the hour were laughing, smiling, and even we tuned into a romantic movie while doing the packing of the bags.
Melissa was telling me...you never thought a year ago that you would be packing froot loops bags with us, and I thought NO I had no idea.
and after they all went to sleep I stood here and just thought how different it all was a year ago. A year ago...
It didnt even crossed my mind that a community like Mololoa actually existed and that I would LOVE so many kids there a year after.

A year ago...

It didnt even crossed my mind that God had a plan for me to meet so many wonderful people that at the end became more like my blessings.
Really didnt even crossed my mind that I would be having dinner with the Kluges and Jen Arnold in Paris(or everysunday lunch at Rubys!) :) :) that I would be in their house tonight thinking I do love this family, Katrina and Allora...Randy and Melissa...And the Honduran miss Jen Arnold:))

It didnt cross my mind that I woould meet Jen Wright and Karen Vaughan.
and...honestly when I think of these two girls words are kind of not enough to describe how much I value their friendship and the fact that they have made me see how it is to really serve God. and also how it really is to show love to others.

A year ago It didnt even crossed my mind that an email or card from Kay, MaryAnn, Kelsey, Tony, Donna, Esperanza, Brandy, Zach,just to mention some just how much happiness you bring to my heart. a year ago I didnt know so many people that I would be building great friendships with... But a year ago I didnt even know that there was a Belpre team coming every year to my country doing great things here, I didnt know that there were so many people passionate to come work for my country, so many people full of love, so many people my age so into coming with teams to build houses for the people that need it, i didnt know that a year later I was going to be part of that too...

A year ago...I didnt know that I was going to become so close to my boss, YEP Maria del Carmen I didnt know that she wasnt going to be just the person that was going to teach me a lot about Law, but also the person that would support me when I most need it.

A year ago...I didnt know that there was a Franklin and his beautiful sisters, I didnt know that there was Oneida and her beautiful kids, I didnt know that there was Walter and his beautiful sisters and brothers, I didnt know that there was a Bryan and Aldo a Daisy and her kids, a Martha and her nieces, and ...just so many kids that would bless my life.

A year ago...I turned my back on the miracles of life, on the simple things that make you happy, even in believing that God was there with me holding my hand, and telling me right there in my face...that HE had great plans for me.
and today...HE Is letting me know that Im just starting my path. that there will be so many more things in my life I would be thankful for, and just so many blessings and simple things I cant take for granted.

A Beautiful Day

2006-05-22T22:01:00.000-07:00

I think its been one of the most touching and meaningful experiences for me the fact that saturday we got to make so many girls and boys feel SPECIAL.

We got to wash the girls hairs...

Paint their nails...

Make them feel loved...

While the boys played soccer and other fun games.

Those moments count so much for them, I feel every time we are there playing with them and just spending time with them they dont take a second for granted.

Washing their hairs, their feet, every time I pour water into a girls hair I could only think who does this for these little girls, and the truth is many of them nobody takes care of them and I can see all their dirty faces and dirty hairs but even if it was just for that day I know those girls wont ever forget that day
not only because they got all pretty and their nails colored, but just all the love they received from every person that was part of it. :)

MOTHERS DAY:)

2006-05-14T15:21:00.000-07:00

....This is the sweet little boy..Walter, and his sister.

I just got back from Mothers day at Mololoa.
It was such a special day, first of all because Jen A and me we did the lesson for the kids, and during the lesson they had to say how they help their mothers, and their answers were: help her clean the house, help her carry water up to our house, help her take care of my sisters and brothers, carry wood, and I thought all these kids do help so much. You can see them carry water up to their houses, you can see them carry wood, and do hard jobs, they have to take care of their sisters and brothers, some sacrifice school work in order to take care of their houses, and to take their other brothers to school. like Marvin, he CAN only go to school on sundays, and Miguel's sister she's only 14 years old and she doesnt go to school because she is in charge of taking her two younger sisters to school, and she also gets them ready.
When I was a kid I never carried wood, I never carried water, I think many of us even being older than they are arent as strong to take all that, and inspite of all the hardships, they always have a SWEET SMILE, that just give me strength to keep on going, and reminds me that I just have to stop and just be thankful to God that he has me here in this life for a purpose.:)

Since I was with the Belpre team and they asked where did you see Jesus today?, I try at the end of the day to ask myself where did I see Jesus today?, I will mention some things where I saw Jesus today...
In all the kids smiles while they were doing their flowers to their moms, and knowing that they have so much love and respect for their mothers.

In Jennifer Arnold speaking spanish, and just being so sure of herself giving the Bible Class today for the kids.

Last night...Melissa with so much love preparing all the bouquet of roses for the mothers to have today at church, and just taking the time to put a nice ribbon in all of them no matter how late it was, until we had enough ready to give out today.

In how God allowed Jennifer's and Karen's mothers and their friend(Gloria), to be here today for the first time in Honduras, and of course Because I finally met them.:)

In Walter(a little boy from the community), WHEN we were going to start the Bible class one of the tables where the kids work, was missing a lot of nails, and he told another boy from the community, ''Bring me a hammer, I will fix this, and the other kid brought a Rock,and together they tried to fix it, so we just told them we will get chairs, and Walter helped us he put a chair to every kid, even helped a little girl sit down in her chair, and he was the last one to take a sit. That just showed me how it is to really serve...and Walter is the best example of it.

AND, TODAY I GOT A BIBLE THE ENGLISH VERSION, AND A LOT OF MESSAGES FROM PEOPLE THAT MEAN SO MUCH TO ME NOW. PEOPLE THAT CAME, AND NOW JUST LEFT A FOOTPRINT IN MY LIFE, AND LOTS OF LOVE IN MY HEART, THANKYOU ALL!!!!, I KNOW MANY OF YOU WILL BE READING THIS BLOG, AND I JUST WANT TO LET YOU KNOW HOW MUCH IT MEANS TO ME:)))

THANS ALSO MELISSA, RANDY, ALLORA, KATRINA FOR MAKING IT VERY FUN FOR ME THIS MOTHERS DAY:))

Pics Mololoa special day...

2006-05-07T21:16:00.000-07:00

Claudia and her kids
Aldo helping out with the Bible Story
Old sister face:)) right Katrina?

Jen A helping out the kids with their cards
He wasnt crying, Lil David and me:))

Kids enjoying their snacks, while watching a movie
the girls coloring their roses
David coloring a card for his mom

A DAY WITH THE KIDS IN MOLOLOA

2006-05-06T20:43:00.001-07:00

It was a great day today!, I got to be part of Bible Study for kids in Mololoa, the Kluges told me on monday if I wanted to go and be part of the Bible study in saturday, so I have been hoping for it to be saturday.
We got there,and there was Franklin! some other kids, and they helped putting everything together,like the chairs in place, Jen Arnold set her projector for the movie, Melissa moved stuff around for it to look all pretty and nice.
A couple of minutes later we have a lot of kids coming in the church building and the activity for the day was to color a rose for their mom in a shape of a card. it was really pretty. the most amazing thing is how they all were so happy and excited in doing that, there were some kids that even wrote messages to their mothers, they got their bag of food, that included something for them to eat while watching a movie, the fun part was to look at all these smiles, how beautiful they all colored their pictures, how meaningful it was for them to do something for their mothers, and I thought many of these kids maybe dont even have mothers, or they're never around, and still they were all doing it full of love.

One of the things that made me really happy today was seeing David, he's a little boy that never smiles, he is afraid of everyone, if someone says hi to him just saying "hey baby" to him makes him cry a lot, and, I was looking back to how this kid has touched my life.
I rember the first time that I went to Mololoa with Randy we visited houses to invite them to church, and we stopped at his house, and his grandmother was there, and she said she didnt want to waste her time talking to us, so everyone just keeps on moving and something in me told me go back and talk to her because maybe she didnt know what we really wanted to tell her, so I did, and I we told her that any group of Torch that comes could build her a house if there was a possibility, she got interested in the conversation and then she pushed David(the baby) inside the house so hard that he hit the wall and he started crying, and I just stood there looking at this baby, at their house, at how she was treating this baby, and tears rolled down my eyes.
A couple of weeks ago Randy tells me the team thats coming will be building houses in Mololoa, and I realized that one of the house that was being build was the one where that baby lived. And Yep I was part of the team that was building the house.
David's grandmother died months ago now he is only with his mother, and his brother, Claudia the owner of the house, is taking care of her 2 kids and her brother, and she was so happy today coloring with her sons, watching the movie, and The best of all, David actually smiled:))), he was laughing, we could say hey baby and he didnt cry, and I even had him in my arms and no tears were coming down his eyes,
If I have to say where I saw Jesus today will be in David's smiles.

BLESSINGS....

2006-04-25T22:40:00.000-07:00

MANY OF THE BLESSINGS EACH OF YOU BROUGHT...:)
ALL YOUR LOVE FOR HONDURAS

YOUR DESIRE TO SERVE

YOUR HARD WORK

YOUR SMILES:))

MINUTES THEY WILL NEVER FORGET...

SMILES AND FUN

A FEELING OF SECURITY

GREAT LAUGHS

Love in your arms...

THE BEST SEMANA SANTA!!

2006-04-22T15:28:00.000-07:00

the blessings you brought to people:)

best semana santa...

I had the best semana santa...At first I remember Jen and Karen telling me you will meet this wonderful people that are like family to us, and I just thought oh well, I will...and...I must admit that before the group came I was having a hard time understanding why it wasnt meant to be for me to go see my dad, The first day they got here I could feel this tremendous happiness all around me, the hugs, the laughters...and...so the trip began...
I was only for a week with this group of special people, but somehow I felt like I was around my family.

I think it was a sunday we went to Santa Lucia Resort to have dinner and then to Santa Lucia church, It was in that moment while everyone was singing, and praising God, that I felt a connection, I cried in that exact moment first because I think that God was telling right there, this is where you are supposed to be, and I saw it all as a great blessing for me. I got to pray for my friend who passed away, and like I told many of you, now I know he's holding on to something so much great we cant understand. but, When I told Kay, Donna, Marc, Kelsey, MaryAnn, well many of you what a blessing it was to have you here because you opened not only my eyes and invited me to experience all this with you, but you also gave a click to my heart, with the way you praise The Lord. And now I know how God is blessing my life.

Its hard to leave for some of you, well imagine me living here , and I have to go back to my routine, but, what keeps me hanging on is just looking back to some of the kids I hugged, specially one in IHNFA(casitas Kennedy), He was just with a big smile all the time, no shoes, no nice shirt, no nice pants, just him and his smile. And I thought wow!, how simple life really is. and that is how we are really supposed to live our lives.
I go back to thinking about many kids there in the hospital, and one girl who some of the group got to meet her, she is 19, but looks like an 8 year old girl, and I saw Esperanza puting some clips in her hair to make her look pretty, and how everyone just talking to her made her smile. When I looked into this girls eyes It was weird because I could see myself reflected there, I dont know how to explain that, but sometimes those little heroes are the ones that impact our lives in so many ways.

I also look back to the wonderful people I met...
Linda...what an amazing woman, her devotional made my heart just soften so much more...
KAY AND RICK...I know the blessing that you are to Jennifer W, and I have heard wonderful things about you, but ...now that I know who you are, I can understand Jen a hundred percent!. and JEFF AND CHRIS TWO A KIND, very nice guys, and JEFF...C'MON AFRAID OF SPIDERS!!..:))

Donna....my gringa!!..jeje...Im your latina!!...such a great heart, so great to talk to you, and I could see the love that you have for all this that you do. You have a very special place in my heart.
MARC...A HERO FOR ME!!, SO STRONG for God, AND JUST AN AMAZING HEART!, JODY..MADE ME LAUGH A LOT, everytime I received a hug from Jody and MaryAnn I felt like mom and dad were hugging me, it was that great!!:)
KELSEY!, U KNOW WHAT IM SAYING GIRL!!??
DELANEY, SARA, VANESSA...MY FAVORITE ROOMATES...THESE YOUNG GIRLS, COMING TO MY COUNTRY JUST TO GIVE THEIR BEST, ALWAYS WITH A SMILE, MAKING EVERYONE ELSE LAUGH, VANESSA..YOU ARE OF A KIND...AND I TOLD YOU THAT TODAY..DONT FORGET, KELSEY!!..MY GIRL...I WILL MISS YOU SISTA!!...:))
MARY...WOW WHAT A STRONG WOMAN!, she definitely set an example to all of us, IM sure of that, never complained, did her best in everything, that just takes a great heart to do all that.
SHerman...I will keep working on my crazy faces!..jaja..thanks for your laughter, and just putting a lot of happiness in everything accomplished during those days you were here, and kaitlin, sweet heart...
Tony...I remember when we got out of IHNFA and you were just full of tears, and I thought those tears are for God, because you were given just your best there to all those kids:)
DAN...I should be writing this in spanish for you..jeje...Thanks for just talking to me, your advice, how calm you are and how wonderful I know was for you to be here, being a part of this group.

The Kluges...thanks for letting us have devo that night at your house, Melissa, you delicious desserts, I know you guys will keep woring for mololoa, And I admire that, a lot of lives have to be changed there, lots of kids that need love, thanks for all the love you have given me:)

I Cant forget about mis amigas...ROCIO, ESPERANZA...
WHERE DO I BEGIN??
ROCIO...I JUST MET YOU, but I could see how you just felt like home so fast, your smile, the way you laugh definitely makes it all diffferent, I can see what a great person you are..and I REALLY do hope to see you soon...
ESPERANZA...do u know what IM SAYING!!??
I think you are one of the persons that inspire me a lot the few days you were with the group, I could see how you were with the kids in the hospital, and how you were so kind to this girl that was so sick, and you just kept brushing her hair, hugging her, and I THOUGHT wow!...this is what it is all about..even when you were having a hard day over there in Mololoa you still were there helping out, handing the bags, and...all that and many other things that make you who you are...I know Rocio and you just for a couple of days but I can see your willing to help and how big your hearts are girls!..cheras como dicen ustedes:)

Anibal.(best known as AB)..you have been here before, and I can see how involve you get in all this, I must say I admire you, and specially the relationship you have build with Marvin, when Oneida told me that his mom wanted to talk to you, because she trusted in you, I understood how much not only he means to you, but how much you mean to him. And of course all the help you do here, means a lot to a lot of people..hope to see u soon:)

JOE.....KAREN AND JEN....I TOLD YOU GUYS I THINK YOU ARE MORE STRONG THAN YOU THINK YOU ARE, ITS NOT EASY BY ANY MEANS SEEING YOUR FAMILY LEAVE IN A PLANE AND YOU STAYING HERE, But I know that God will bless your lives in ways you cant even imagine, you are working according to his plan, and you have been showing that, with tears and all because we are humans, its normal to miss your family(tell me about it), and its good to cry ...and to let it all out, but never forget that behind those tears are just all the blessings that you have been given already and will give, by changing many kids lives, I LOVE YOU GUYS TONS!!karen and jen..like sisters to me.

EVERY PERSON THAT CAME IN THE GROUP , AND IM THINKING ABOUT EVERYONES FACE RIGHT NOW, AND JUST REMEMBERING ALL YOUR SMILES NO MATTER HOW HOT THE DAY WAS, NO MATTER HOW TIRED YOU WERE, OR THE BACK PAIN YOU HAD, YOU GUYS WERE ALL HAPPY AND JUST SMILING,

THANK YOU FOR BEING A BLESSING...AND...I HOPE TO SEE ALL OF YOU NEXT YEAR, BACK AGAIN...

I know I was with all you this week for a reason, and thats where God wanted to be...and in every one of you, and in every simple and special thing he showed me how blessed I AM.

2006-03-25T18:14:00.000-08:00

Last week, I spent an afternoon with three great people that Im so thankful they're part of my life, Jen, Karen and Joe, we went to the mall, to meet some people coming to volunteer from Torch missions, I was just standing there, when I saw this girl with a shirt that said Mission Honduras, And I thought for all these people, and many others, my country means so much to them that they actually come to help, and give all their heart and many times part of their lives to come here. I always say its amazing how many people that are from other countries have helped so much Honduras probably more than people here, that were born here, that these lands are the ones that have kept them alive...all that sometimes its just forgotten.
I was talking last night to this girl from Norway that I met, she told me when I came to this country I thought it was going to be bad, like the type of things they show in the newspapers but like I could see it in front of my face, and I thought ok, but we're in this nice house, in this nice neighborhood, and I asked her if she had been to any communities of Honduras, and she told me ''No'', so I thought thats what happens...we get stuck in the ''nice'' things, and seem to ignore all our surroundings.
She told me a friend of her is a Journalist and is coming to do a report on Kids Prostitution, and that is a big problem I think not only in third world countries,but around the world, and she told me that if her friend has the oppportunity she will like to go visit the communities, and she is just writing about all her research in the newspaper in Norway, I know many people can write about how bad things are, or how third world countries actually survive, but, its not until you go and live it, that you really know, Sometimes its hard believing everything the newspapers say, how many people are dying around the world, AIDS, Hunger, Diseases, And I wonder...Why?, I bet all you just wish sometime to make it all better, but sometimes more than Why?, I wonder why not me?, Why am I not in that same situation as those kids in Mololoa? or in other communities around the world? I guess we all do have a purpose here...I am sure of that, and maybe Our lives are just planned that way, and made the way they are for a purpose...Gods purpose, it cant be our own, there has to be that Great Force he can only give in Our lives.

Just love

2006-02-12T09:47:00.000-08:00

Yesterday I had the opportunity to go to Mololoa with Jen Arnold, A total different experience, the day before we didnt know if it was such a good idea to go just her and me..but, then we thought we do feel somehow protected there, like all those kids are somehow connected to us. so...we did...I mean to be honest I laughed so hard since we got there, first the car experience, and by the way Jen is a good driver:), I honestly dont think I will be able to drive in such a narrow road to get up to some of the houses, although someday I will do it. WE spend time just talking to them, laughing, just holding their hands...
Im the kind of person that does know the meaning of a hug, I think that sometimes at the end of a day, or when we are just not feeling good, how important a hug is. how important it is that someone asks you how was your day today, but that they actually do care about it. And then I wonder why all these kids just gather around us, there were like five girls all at once that wanted to hold my hands, one of them was just holding my shirt,and I stopped and thought for a while, how many times do these kids get someone to hug them or to say are you feeling ok?, and the answer is none a day.
thats why for them just holding a piece of my shirt means...security, means love, means Im actually holding to someone that cares, that eventually will turn around and give me a hug.
they do know that in the car there are cookies, candies, bananas, and many other things sometimes they are given to them, but ...for them what is really important is just someone to really care for them.
Yesterday we wanted to invite Mauricio for lunch he's such a mature little boy, and Jen even told him chose a friend that you want to take and he decided to take Marvin, so he just told us I will go up to my house and just get some shoes, he later told us that he couldnt make it because he had to take care of his sisters and brothers, and the house...I was kind of sad at that, I saw the look on his face when he was going up to change, he was happy, and when he told us he couldnt go, he was devastated. that is the part that does break my heart. so...we did promise him to take him some other day...
The only thin Im aware from all this experience, is that the only things these kids are searhing for is love. so simple..but at the same time so complicated for all of us in this world.
I know all the people that have been there are now a part of these kids hearts. and I honestly can say that they're part of my life now.

One day In Mololoa...

2006-01-28T21:44:00.000-08:00

Today I went to a community here in Tegucigalpa called Mololoa, it was my second time there, and I already feel like I've been part of this forever,
I went with Katrina, Ranndy, Jennifer Arnold, My little sister Marcela, and her friend Carmen, we got there, and we went first to this house where there are 4 kids, the older is 10 , and their mom left, and she is not planning or wanting to come back, their dad is all they have we went to their house and talked to him, and even help another person get a job by taking care of his kids, because they have to go to school, and that is a very important thing, they cant miss that part, I think education is very important, and definitely our country is a third world country because of the lack of knowledge, and lack of education. but, hopefully these kids will go to school. after that we went to another house, it was funny how we were all having a hard time going down, and I wonder I mean those kids just come flying down and they never fall...but oh well...then we went to talk to Doña Ana, she has 5 kids, and hopefully her house will be build, we talked to her, invited her to church and she said she will be there tomorrow, so hopefully she will. on our way up, I saw this kid, he was naked, and all dirty, well, you could barely see his eyes, from the dirt, He was all black like covered with mud, and dirt, and I looked at him, and I honestly felt I just wanted to take that kid away from there, Like I just imagined him, well I am right now, Im just imagining him with clean clothes, going to school , being all a successful man, with a happy family, and... well..we wanted to talk to his mom, and at the beginning she was like no Dont waste my time, so we were heading up and I just wanted to go back and really explain why were there, so she paid attention and she said that she definitely nees a house, and I mean we could see that she really needs one, she then pushed the kid inisde and he started crying, to be honest I cant stop thinking about this kid, I know I will see many other kids like him, and maybe I just have to be ready for that, but honestly it did made a big impact in me, I was just writing an email to my dad right now, telling him about this, and I remember that when I was little outside of our house, my dad for my 4 year old birthday gave me a little house as a gift, it was this dollhouse that I could actually go in, and I used to spent hours and hours there, and I was just telling my dad that I was so lucky that I had a house as big as the ones they have and they live with their 5 or 6 kids, I had that to play. so...I really cannot say that I feel what they feel, I and I bet none of all the Wonderful people that are in this project have stayed over night there, we cannot say for sure, how it must feel. Honestly if I wish sometimes that I could do more, I will just pray for all the kids there, all the families, and for the kid that I honestly cant stop thinking about his situation. maybe someday, he will have a wonderful family and be more than successful..why not. all things are possible.

its just a moment...

2006-01-26T19:53:00.000-08:00

I'm not afraid
Of anything in this world
There's nothing you can throw at me
That I haven't already heard

I'm just trying to find
A decent melody
A song that I can sing
In my own company

I never thought you were a fool
But darling look at you
You gotta stand up straight
Carry your own weight
These tears are going nowhere baby

You've got to get yourself together
You've got stuck in a moment
And now you can't get out of it

Don't say that later will be better
Now you're stuck in a moment
And you can't get out of it

I will not forsake
The colors that you bring
The nights you filled with fireworks
They left you with nothing

I am still enchanted
By the light you brought to me
I listen through your ears
Through your eyes I can see

And you are such a fool
To worry like you do
I know it's tough
And you can never get enough
Of what you don't really need now
My, oh my

You've got to get yourself together
You've got stuck in a moment
And you can't get out of it

Oh love, look at you now
You've got yourself stuck in a moment
And you can't get out of it

I was unconscious, half asleep
The water is warm 'til you discover how deep

I wasn't jumping, for me it was a fall
It's a long way down to nothing at all

You've got to get yourself together
You've got stuck in a moment
And you can't get out of it

Don't say that later will be better
Now you're stuck in a moment
And you can't get out of it

And if the night runs over
And if the day won't last
And if our way should falter
Along the stony pass

And if the night runs over
And if the day won't last
And if your way should falter
Along this stony pass

It's just a moment
This time will pass

I was just watching a U2 concert , they did this huge presentation in Italy, I really like this group, but I've become more attached to this lyrics, I guess no matter how hard sometimes things are...we just gotta keep on moving... I guess if we get too stuck in a problem or something is bothering us we dont really get to live, and that is something I've learned in the few years I've got moving around this life, I have learned that the best way to heal many things is just by moving on, I guess we all do get stuck in a moment sometimes, just make sure it doesnt last a lifetime.

vivir...simplemente vivir...

2006-01-24T21:03:00.000-08:00

well...today after a long day, coming to one place, and going to the other, in the middle of it all I was thinking lo importante que son esas personas que siempre estan a tu lado, En la mañana mi amiga Jennifer Wright(yes the one Im always laughing with:))..jeje) and the one who tells me someday I'll speak spanglish like you do..jeje...fuimos a visitar a mi mejor amiga, Maria Batres, a su trabajo, trabaja en Minister Suites where I used to work, where I met wonderful people, from my ex boss that its this sweet lady!, so generous, and so kind. I met there other two guys , David Molina (that is now in El Salvador working for El SICA), and Augusto, he graduated one class before maria and me, and studies Law also, and well...also many other special people, but, I guess its true all that...about how some people come and go ... and they leave something there in your heart, that totally changes you...or at least...you learn from them..from listening to Dave Matthews, reading a newspaper, or just talking about LAW.... and I just look back and smile just for having been able to meet that very unique person and many others that definitely are now part of my history..and you knowing that Our paths might not cross again, and perhaps I sometimes wonder if Im wrong?, I guess just meeting them is the chance sometimes life only gives you.

So...after that...I started working with Doña Carmen, for me the best Lawyer in Honduras, she works hard, and best of all she has the patience to teach me, Im just starting my career, espero en 4 años ser una exclente abogada, y siento que tengo a una jefa pero mas que eso a la mejor maestra y consejera que puede haber.
cuando empezamos a trabajar, luego yo conoci a Tim HInes, and then Jennifer and Karen, and...definitely I will look back at these years and just realize the change all this has done in me...he conocido a otras personas como los Kluges una familia alegre, y muy amables..., Jen and Katie that work at Pinares, where I used to spend a lot of time:))...y adonde conoci a las personas que ahora son mis mejores amigas, GIAN...that just came from Paris, for two months, and...Maria Batres...more like a sister to me..:))...
honestly, I think for some reason people come and go...for some reason some stay and some dont...its ok to remember some...its ok..to remember some more than others, and...its definitely ok..to miss some moments...but...everything keeps moving on, the world keeps turning, people change, times change...muchas veces solo se trata de vivir...y claro que hoy sera una memoria, pero no es la vida eso?, todos los capitulos juntos, para al final hacer tu propia historia, y vivir, simplemente vivir:)

my friends...

2006-01-23T19:36:00.000-08:00

I met Karen and Jennifer...these two special girls. I remeber the first time that they came to the office, I was like hello...but I never thought that we would hang out a lot of time, and have so much fun together.
well...because of my job, I get to hang a lot with them.
I've been telling all my friends here of how much we need to help our own country, we have our problems here, just right around the corner, and many just seem to ignore it. when I tell some of them what a lot of the people that are not from Honduras do, they just think it must be all boring, or why in the first place do it, but its not until you meet the kids, or you meet the people that you actually believe it all, and you want to help them more and more...
I know I wont change the world, many people wont, but sometimes a person just needs to feel love, and if for once in their lives these kids will feel love,then that makes it all worth it...I never thought doing all this would mean so much to me, going to a church full of kids, and only 10 adults..., being called a gringa!...jeje..even if Im 100% Honduran:), meeting so many nice people, and spending time with them....and...enjoying each day a little bit more all that I do have in life, and realizing how Lucky I actually am.

Mariafer, and me...

2006-01-14T20:46:00.000-08:00

I always ask people about their friends, and its amazing how many people actually dont believe in friendship, and they just answer I dont I dont have an friends... in order to be a friend...you have to be one, and many people think its a simple thing, when actually you have to work hard to build one, I consider myself lucky to say I do believe in frienship, because I have felt the true meaning of friendhip. thanks Mary for all those special moments...countless laugs, and...countless..memories, but heading towards a same path, good luck in your new job LOVE YA!!
My best Friend Maria Batres.. and me....

my first writings

2005-10-05T22:02:00.000-07:00

I must say....I opened a user and password in this website because of mr. reusser, I found it great to be able to share my thoughts, my ideas, the things that I do, my interestings, and if I can everyday to be sharing with you what Im into...This is the beginning of many writings that some of you might be able to see more of my real thoughts, not just the funny or some say the serious ME...